I proposed this weekend.

Erin and I have been dating for 3.5 years, but it feels like a new relationship after I proposed.  There is a shift of views or paradigms or whatever word you would like to use as you go on your way to marriage.  The commitment factor and the use of stronger words of endearment change your perception of your relationship.  Now it feels closer, more real, more a part of me… less externalized.

I had big dreams for the proposal.  First I was going to propose up at a resort in the Blue Mountains on the Friday but Erin told me she was too tired to go.  Then I had an idea of proposing at Lime Cay – a tiny island which is a 10 minute boat ride off the coast of Kingston.  Of course though as we lay in bed chatting on Saturday morning the timing just seemed right to do it then.  Unfortunately I remembered the ring was shoved into one of my soccer socks and started laughing to myself with visions of throwing a sock at Erin, giving her a wink and asking her to marry me.  She asked me what was up and why I was laughing… I told her it was my own little internal joke… she told me I wasn’t allowed an internal jokes.. I said fine “I’m laughing because I’m nervous because I want to ask you to marry me”… I walked over and got the ring and came back on one knee and asked… she said yes.

Of course the ring didn’t fit and then when we went to the store we decided to try different rings on as well which resulted in the selection of a new ring.

I’m still not sure where we will do it, we’ll decide over Christmas when we start talking to our families.  I’d love to do it in Jamaica – the ability to share the beauty of Jamaica with family and friends would be unbelievable.  Right now I’m at a hotel in a valley in the Blue Mountains… it is unbelievably quiet and peaceful here.  I’d love to show people what it is like here.  And I’d love to have one really lasting memory of Jamaica.

On the other hand I’d also love to have lots of people at the wedding – and the cost of people coming to Jamaica is high which will reduce the number of people.  It’s a tough choice but I’m sure we’ll figure it out and wherever it is I’m sure we’ll have a blast.

But to close off there are two things we do know for sure – Erin will be a Martell forever and there won’t be a church within 40 miles of the wedding.

I was amazed that a recent story in Jamaica received zero international coverage - perhaps this was due to the inadequacy of the local Jamaican media in reporting the event itself.

The mayor of Kingston led a protest to the Jamaica House (equivalent of White House) with petitions signed asking for more money for hurricane disaster relief.  Along with him were several senior councillors from the municipal government.  There is a tradition in Jamaica that dates back to Michael Manley - if a local mayor leads a protest the prime minister himself will come out and speak to the mayor if the prime minister is available.  If not a senior bureaucrat from the prime minister's office will come out and speak to the mayor.

Unfortunately it was not the case this time.  Perhaps the mayor had forgotten to inform the prime minister beforehand - perhaps it is because the two party system in Jamaica has divided the country more than USA - because when the mayor (affiliated to the non-governing JLP) approached the gate he was soundly tear-gassed... along with the masses including senior councillors!!!

The leading party, including the prime minister and minister of national security did not issue any apologies.  The event was hardly covered in the local media! 

Can you imagine if this had occured in Toronto???  If the feds tear-gassed the mayor!  The federal party would get murdered.  The media circus would be beyond comparison in Canadian history and the act would be considered a serious breach of democratic process.

The interesting note is that it could not happen in Toronto... why do you ask?  Well the mayor is the boss of the Toronto police.  Partisan politics are less of a factor at the federal level because the RCMP has a limited mandate, same with the provincial police force... typically the muncipal level have the broadest scope and range - and municipal politics are not affiliated with parties (in theory).

In Jamaica the federal government owns a constabulary, i.e. the entire police force.  In a recent Jamaica study 40% of the survey indicated that they thought the JCF (jamaican constabulary force) was lazy and corrupt!  IN addition 35% or so indicated that they would not call the police if they saw a major crime committed and had useful information.  Federal run police forces simply do not work - the police force becomes undemocratic, subject to partisan politics, centralized and inefficient.

There is another reason why this would never happen in Canada - the media.  As mentioned earlier the police and government would come under intense media scrutiny and pressure.  In Jamaica the media seems to be non-existent, incompetent and redundant.  More Jamaicans watch CNN then they do local Jamaican news.  I have a friend who actually works for a local "24-hour" news station.  There will be over 1600 murders this year and they will largely go uncovered by the press.  Last night we drove by a man who was seriously injured or killed on a street near our house - we will never know what happened as it won't be on the news.  This friend explained why there was little media pressure "The cameramen stop working at 5pm and don't work weekends."  Ahhh yes, its the classic Jamaica issue - lack of investment and lack of caring.  They can't afford to pay for more than three cameramen and cameras - and the cameramen don't care enough to work outside of regular hours.  Thus the "24-hour" news stations is limited to 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  In addtion, due the intense partisan politics, the news stations are heavily bias and will only cover what they are told to cover.  I suspect that murder situation is downplayed for a reason here.

In general, I'd say that most Canadians need to stop being concerned with the media in Canada - it does an outstanding job of keeping the system's inline using pressure and scrutiny - you all just need to get out of paradise and compare once in a while.